The par excellence leadership style is Empathetic Leadership . The Trainer explained with a simple story… The P*t being yourself and the potato,egg and coffee bean being the situations around us, being an empathetic leader one needs to understand the position of others and react accordingly …Having a positive outlook is a choice. You can choose to think thoughts that elevate your mood, throw a more constructive light on difficult situations, and generally color your day with brighter, more hopeful approaches to the things you do. By choosing to take a positive outlook on life, you can begin to shift out of a negative frame of mind and see life as filled with possibilities and solutions instead of worries and obstacles.
A young woman went to her grandmother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one would pop up.
Her grandmother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire, and soon the pots came to boil.
In the first p*t she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. Without saying a word, she let them sit and boil.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her granddaughter she asked “Tell me what you see.”
“Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” she replied. Her grandmother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The grandmother then asked the granddaughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the grandmother asked the granddaughter to sip the coffee. The granddaughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma then asked:
“What does it mean, grandmother?”
Her grandmother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently.
The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.
The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.
The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
Then she asked her granddaughter one final question:
Which one will you choose to be?
Three key traits to empathetic, effective leaders:
Good listener
Nonjudgmental
Emotional intelligence
Empathetic leaders follow the “2 Ears – 1 Mouth” rule… they spend more time listening than talking. Leaders who are empathetic focus on the person who is speaking too. Today, there are so many distractions around us, it can significantly impact the quality of our listening skills. Empathetic leaders put away their smartphones and close their e-mail inbox when listening, so all of their attention is on the speaker in front of them!
Empathetic leaders are also nonjudgmental, even when the feelings of others are in direct disagreement with their own feelings. They appreciate what the other person is feeling and understand how those feelings are affecting that person’s perception, without passing judgment whether those feelings are right or wrong.
Lastly, empathetic leaders are emotionally intelligent. They are able to step back from their own and the other peson’s feelings and analyze those feelings in a subjective manner. Empathetic leaders don’t let the feelings involved in the situation control the outcome.
Thank You
Motivational Trainer – Vishnu Vardhan
